“That ye put off concerning the former conversation the old man, which is corrupt according to the deceitful lusts; And be renewed in the spirit of your mind; And that ye put on the new man, which after God is created in righteousness and true holiness.” (Eph. 4:22-24)
One of the reasons why God is able to give us the victory and keep us from falling is because He has given us another nature empowered by the Holy Spirit that we can choose to live by.
It is only because of this new man living inside of us that we can determine right from wrong and have the strength to live according to the principles of the Kingdom of God.
Matthew chapter five verses 31 and 32 instructs us,
“It hath been said, Whosoever shall put away his wife, let him give her a writing of divorcement: But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery.” (Matt. 5:31-32)
These Scriptures give us the parameters concerning divorce. However, as it is with all the words of Jesus, there is the apparent meaning and there is the deeper meaning.
One of the things we must realize concerning the principles of the Kingdom of God is that the Lord is talking about living according to the abilities of a new and righteous heart.
He is talking about always living in peace and forgiveness.
In the Gospel of Mark chapter ten and verse five,
“And Jesus answered and said unto them, For the hardness of your heart he wrote you this precept.” (Mark 10:5)
We who have been born again and filled with the Holy Ghost have been delivered from a hard heart. The Lord says,
“A new heart also will I give you, and a new spirit will I put within you: and I will take away the stony heart out of your flesh, and I will give you an heart of flesh.” (Ezek. 36:26)
We as Christians have been given a new heart.
The psalmist cries out in Psalms 51 verse ten,
“Create in me a clean heart, O God; and renew a right spirit within me.” (Psalm 51:10)
As believers in a Christian marriage, God gives us no excuse to head towards divorce. We do not have a hard heart but we have a softened heart. We are able to work things out.
We can come to the peace that God wants us to come to if we are willing to change and forgive.
However, for unbelievers sometimes such is not the case.
In First Corinthians chapter seven verses ten through 17 we read the Apostle Paul’s instructions concerning marriage as given through the inspiration of the Holy Ghost.
“And unto the married I command, yet not I, but the Lord, Let not the wife depart from her husband:” (1Cor. 7:10)
“But and if she depart, let her remain unmarried, or be reconciled to her husband: and let not the husband put away his wife.” (1Cor. 7:11)
“But to the rest speak I, not the Lord: If any brother hath a wife that believeth not, and she be pleased to dwell with him, let him not put her away.” (1Cor. 7:12)
“And the woman which hath an husband that believeth not, and if he be pleased to dwell with her, let her not leave him.” (1Cor. 7:13)
“For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband: else were your children unclean; but now are they holy.” (1Cor. 7:14)
“But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases: but God hath called us to peace.” (1Cor. 7:15)
“For what knowest thou, O wife, whether thou shalt save thy husband? or how knowest thou, O man, whether thou shalt save thy wife?” (1Cor. 7:16)
“But as God hath distributed to every man, as the Lord hath called every one, so let him walk. And so ordain I in all churches.” (1Cor. 7:17)
In verses ten and 11 the Lord through Paul is talking to husbands and wives who are both believers and married in the Lord. He says to “Let them not depart.”
In verses 12 through 16, the Apostle Paul says “but to the rest speak I, not the Lord”. Here he is referring to believers who find themselves married to unbelieving spouses that are not part of the body of Christ.
In verse 14 the Bible says that the unbeliever is sanctified, meaning set apart, by the believer. They are sanctified unto salvation. In God’s eyes that saved individual’s unbelieving husband, wife, or children are set apart from the rest of the world.
It is true that all individuals have to come to a personal acceptance of Christ for their salvation, but when God says they are sanctified it means that He has set them apart for a concentrated ministration of the Holy Spirit to convict them of sin and bring them to Christ.
By living with a changed, born again individual on a daily basis, 24 hours a day seven days a week, the unsaved spouse or children will witness firsthand the reality of God and His ability to transform a life through the power of a new heart and a new spirit.
“Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation (Greek: behavior) of the wives;” (1Peter 3:1)
God has not only promised to save us but He is has also promised to save our household.
“And they said, Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ, and thou shalt be saved, and thy house.” (Acts 16:31)
These Scriptures go on to say, “But if the unbelieving depart let him depart. A brother or sister is not under bondage in such cases.” (1Cor. 7:15) Not under bondage means they have been set at liberty.
First and foremost, God has called us to peace.
The key for a believer to continue in marriage to a non-believer are the verses which declare “be pleased to dwell”,
“But to the rest speak I, not the Lord: If any brother hath a wife that believeth not, and she be pleased to dwell with him, let him not put her away.”
“And the woman which hath an husband that believeth not, and if he be pleased to dwell with her, let her not leave him.” (1Cor. 7:14-15)
The unbelieving spouse must accept and be pleased with the changes in the spouse who has become a believer.
In no way does God condone abuse. The Scripture says, “God hath called us to peace.”
There are many men and women of God who have been anointed and called to preach, but because of an unbelieving spouse that has chosen to leave and divorce them, certain religious institutions have forbidden and hindered them from fulfilling their place in the body of Christ.
There are religious organizations and leaders who say “you can’t do this” or “you can’t do that”, ignoring the fact that it is God who has forgiven and God who has justified, and it is God who calls and anoints.
God says, “A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases.”
Rest assured that if a believer has been divorced from an unbelieving spouse God has not withdrawn his call or anointing because of that divorce. The Bible says that the gifts and the calling of God are unchangeable.
“For the gifts and calling of God are without repentance.” (Rom. 11:29)
Matthew chapter five verses 33 through 37 instruct us concerning the assurance of our words,
“Again, ye have heard that it hath been said by them of old time, Thou shalt not forswear thyself, but shalt perform unto the Lord thine oaths:”
“But I say unto you, Swear not at all; neither by heaven; for it is God’s throne:”
“Nor by the earth; for it is his footstool: neither by Jerusalem; for it is the city of the great King.”
“Neither shalt thou swear by thy head, because thou canst not make one hair white or black.”
“But let your communication be, Yea, yea; Nay, nay: for whatsoever is more than these cometh of evil.” (Matt. 5:33-37)
The apparent interpretation of these Scriptures is that God is dealing with swearing and oaths, but the deeper interpretation is that God is dealing with the attitude of pride.
When someone swears an oath such as “I swear on my mother’s grave”, or “I swear to God”, or any other such proclamation, they are really swearing that something “shall be” or “is so” regardless of the circumstances.
By doing such a thing, they are expressing their total dependence upon themselves to make it happen.
This is pride.
We should be saying, “If it is the Lord’s will.”
“For that ye ought to say, If the Lord will, we shall live, and do this, or that.” (James 4:15)
The Lord says not to swear by anything, but let your words be simply “yes” or “no”.
In other words, there should be no need to convince anyone by swearing that what we are saying is the truth. As a Christian, our character alone should be all that is necessary for someone to know that what we have said is “yea” or “nay”.
James chapter five and verse 12 tells us,
“But above all things, my brethren, swear not, neither by heaven, neither by the earth, neither by any other oath: but let your yea be yea; and your nay, nay; lest ye fall into condemnation.” (James 5:12)
In this verse of Scripture the Apostle James says, “above all things.” This is a tremendous significance to put upon the words that come out of our mouths, especially concerning whether we are “swearing by” something or not.
Why would the Scriptures put such significance on this?
“For by thy words thou shalt be justified, and by thy words thou shalt be condemned.” (Matt. 12:37)
The condemnation that is being spoken of here is the condemnation of the devil. We read in First Timothy chapter three and verse six,
“Not a novice, lest being lifted up with pride he fall into the condemnation of the devil.” (1Tim. 3:6)
The Bible says that God resists the proud.
Pride brings condemnation upon us before the throne of God.
Boastful words come forth from a prideful heart. A non-repentant prideful heart is not walking after the Spirit. We only escape condemnation when we walk after the Spirit and not after the flesh.
“There is therefore now no condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus, who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit.” (Rom. 8:1)
Revelation chapter 12 and verse ten says,
“And I heard a loud voice saying in heaven, Now is come salvation, and strength, and the kingdom of our God, and the power of his Christ: for the accuser of our brethren is cast down, which accused them before our God day and night.” (Rev. 12:10)
The devil wants to accuse you. The devil wants to condemn you. The devil wants to hinder your prayers.
When we swear or do anything else to reinforce what we have declared, it is an outward manifestation of the pride of self-determination that is in our hearts.
James chapter four verses 13 through 17 declares,
“Go to now, ye that say, Today or tomorrow we will go into such a city, and continue there a year, and buy and sell, and get gain:”
“Whereas ye know not what shall be on the morrow. For what is your life? It is even a vapor, that appeareth for a little time, and then vanisheth away.”
“For that ye ought to say, If the Lord will, we shall live, and do this, or that.”
“But now ye rejoice in your boastings: all such rejoicing is evil.”
“Therefore to him that knoweth to do good, and doeth it not, to him it is sin.” (James 4:13-17)